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Fantastic Foursome. by YourGuardianAngels

Devious stories mixed by Cuddlepuss

Phan- Fiction by collidewiththesirens


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December 27, 2012
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Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DANISNOTONFIRE (Dan Howell) OR AMAZINGPHIL (Phil Lester)

BY WRITING THIS FANFIC, I DO NOT, IN ANY WAY, IMPLY THAT PHIL AND DAN ARE, OR EVER WILL BE, IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. THIS WORK IS WRITTEN PURELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES OF THE FANS.
_________________________

He pulled the apron over his head, wrapping it around his body and tying it just under the apron in the front. Unfortunately, his most recent break was over.

The brunette sighed. He'd only been at this job for two weeks, with about four or five shifts the entire week, and he was already sick of it. The smell of coffee, the constant complaining customers...

"Dan! Get your butt out to those tables!"

... and his asshole of a manager.

"Jesus Christ," Dan muttered, completing his uniform with a name tag and a tray.

The thing was, Dan hated his new job.

No, he despised it.

Dan never actually wanted to get a job. It started around a month ago, when he realized that, even with the addition of two new shirts and a new bracelet to his Danisnotonfire merchandise store, his sales seemed to start lacking dramatically and he could barely reach that month's rent.

Phil, being the charismatic and generous person he always was, offered to take care of at least half of Dan's portion of the rent and even most of the groceries until Dan's profits raised again.

The brunette, however, wouldn't let that happen. Despite Phil's protests, Dan simply said that he would get another job to make up for the lost income until the sales picked up again.

There was no way he was going to be a charity case for Phil. He was not going to let Phil just.... take care of him like that!

He blushed at the idea of Phil watching over him protectively in this time of need while he ran to the main eating area.

Dan was, luckily, accepted to the very first job he applied to: a server at the cafe just down the street from their flat in London.

It wasn't the most ideal job, but the pay was good and the hours were flexible, which he really needed to keep making videos for his subscribers.

"How can I help you, sir?"

The gruff man sitting at the table alone grunted and tossed his menu Dan. The boy fumed on the inside, but he maintained his happy-go-lucky composure.

He really didn't want this job, but he certainly needed it.

After taking the man's unnecessarily complicated order, he huffed and made his way to the kitchen to place the order.

This is so stupid.

Dan's day really couldn't have gotten any worse. He was practically forced to get out of bed at 6 A.M. to get to his 7 o'clock shift. Of course, since Phil doesn't ever get up until 9, he left long before Phil had awoken. That was the only logical reason for the various worried texts and voicemails from Phil's cellphone when he finally checked during his nine-thirty break.

Sure enough, Dan called him back immediately.

"Hello? Phil?"

"Dan! Where are you? I woke up and you weren't here and you wouldn't answer your phone!"

"I had a 7 o'clock work shift this morning, you ninny." Dan smirked at Phil's prolonged silence.

"No need to worry, dear." Dan chuckled, teasing Phil's over-protectiveness. He could practically feel the heat on Phil's face radiate through the phone.

"Sh-shut up! I was just a little worried!"

Dan laughed, "Fine, fine. I don't get off until, like, two though. I'll have to see you later this afternoon."

"Okay.... I'll see you later..."

With that, Phil ended the call before Dan could really respond.


It was going on one o'clock, and Dan was completely worn out. Although he had a muffin that morning and a very short lunch break, which was limited due to a surprise lunch rush, he was also terribly hungry and wanted to do nothing more than go home and watch television, maybe a horror movie marathon or something.

Just after delivering the soup, biscuits, and coffee to the grumpy man, he noticed another person sat at a different table in his section. Dan got out his order book and walked over to the person hidden behind the menu.

"How can I help you today?" Dan plastered on his big fake smile, which quickly disappeared as the guest lowered the menu.

The ebony-haired man sitting at the table smiled, " Hello, kind sir. I'd just like a black coffee, please."

"Ph-Phil? What are you doing here?" Dan was slightly bewildered.

"Obviously wanting some coffee. Durr." Phil stuck out his tongue teasingly.

Dan just stuttered.

"I-I, um, o-okay. I'll go take care of that for you..."

He scurried back to the kitchen to prepare his friend's coffee.

Why is he here? I said I would see him when I got home!

Dan immediately dropped off Phil's coffee, "Anything else I can get you?"

Phil took a sip of his fresh coffee and smiled, "Nah... I think I'll just hang out here for a while. Don't worry about taking care of me."

He looked and Dan over his coffee mug with a smirk twitching along his facial features.

Dan finally laughed, "Okay, if you insist!"

It was nearly forty-five minutes later, fifteen minutes from the end of this torturous shift, and Phil was still sitting in the cafe. He finally waved Dan over.

"Hey, Dan, what kind of dessert do you recommend?" He chuckled at his friend.

Dan couldn't help but feel butterflies at Phil's teasing. Even though he made it known that he hates working there, nothing cheered him up more than Starbucks caramel macchiato and the cafe's famous blueberry tart.

"Why do you even bother asking? You should already know!"

"Well, I'd like to think I'm a stranger just wanting to know what would be good!" Phil ckuckled.

"Okay, well, I would suggest the blueberry tart. It is to die for." Dan finished with a dramatic hand against his forehead.

"Then I'll take just one of those!"

Dan's stomach audibly growled, causing him to blush.

"What I wouldn't give for having one of those myself right now!"

It took a single trip for Dan to get the large slice of the blueberry tart and deliver it to Phil's table. As he was about to leave Phil to his dessert, he dropped off the tab.

"Enjoy your dessert." Dan said through nearly-gritted teeth.

Phil stuck his tongue out at Dan and took a large forkful, shoving it into his mouth.

Once Dan finally returned to the table to take Phil's change and clean his section, as the clock soon struck 2 to single the end of his shift, he found that his friend had left.

Fuming at Phil's stupid, and highly unexpected, dine-and-dash, Dan began cleaning off the table, noting that Phil had managed to take the dessert for to-go. Underneath the plate he left behind were two twenties and a note on the receipt.

I know you don't want my help, but nothing make's someone's day more than a fairly large tip. Enjoy!

~Phil


Mouth agape, Dan kept the note in his hand and he finally clocked out for the day. He stumbled out into the cold, already fully eager to collapse on his bed.

The second he stepped out onto the pavement, he crashed head-on into someone.

"Oops! I am so sorry-!"

Dan looked up.

"Phil? What are you doing here?"

The raven-haired boy stood there, smile wide, with the cafe's blueberry tart in a to-go box in one hand, and what appeared to be a steaming cup of whatever Starbucks drink he got.

"I decided to walk you home from work."

He handed the coffee to Dan, who was pleasantly surprised with his cheeks painted pink.

"Don't worry, Dan. It's your favorite." Phil winked at him, causing Dan to glance away quickly.

He took a quick sip of the coffee, the warm caramel bringing a pleasing feeling to his shivering body.

"Phil, I can't believe you-!"

He was suddenly cut off with a kiss.

Before Dan could truly respond, Phil pulled away quickly.

"I-I'm so sorry, Dan! I have no idea why I did that! I can't even believe..." He facepalmed, pacing back and forth in a small line.

"You-" Dan really had no idea how to respond to that, but his blazing cheeks revealed otherwise. "You.... you taste like blueberries."

A long silence followed, but was quickly broken by a loud laugh from Phil.

"And I am in love with your coffee kisses."
My brain is so broken.

Since I work as a waitress, I got this idea for a phanfic on my way home from work tonight.

I was all "Yeah, let's do this!!!" at first.

Then my motivation went all LOLNOPE. :iconmadlynotimpressedplz:

Despite that, I know it's short. I'm still happy with it, because I never write this well when I'm this tired. TT~TT

Does anyone notice how I enjoy using alliteration and assonance for my story titles? :XD:
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:iconperfection273:
While working at Starbucks (or other cafes) has been done before, it is usually how they meet, and the concept of this was refreshing and different. You have a nice style of writing. While it is clearly third-person, it focuses mainly on Dan, which is different from most third-person writing, which allows you to see into both perspectives. You word things quite beautifully, like "...Who was pleasantly surprised with his cheeks painted pink." While the idea of an unexpected kiss has been used many times before, you put a spin on it and kept things unexpected and moving. Really good story!
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:iconbiscuitz3tears:
Biscuitz3Tears Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Ugh ugh ohmygod that's so asdfghjkl;
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:iconoceansunrise32:
OceanSunrise32 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
asfrge thank you! :)
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:iconmysecretstoryaccount:
I just realised how many phanfics you have and I'm reading ALL OF THEM.
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:iconoceansunrise32:
OceanSunrise32 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
GOD. GET OFF MY DEVIANTART.

Just kidding. :XD: LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Thanks for reading all of them!!! :D :D
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:iconmysecretstoryaccount:
*sobs loudly* BUT I LOVE YOUR PHANFICS TOO MUCH!
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:iconoceansunrise32:
OceanSunrise32 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconfliptableplz:

lol, jk. :XD:
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:iconmysecretstoryaccount:
Dat chair XD
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:iconmaturenessaccount:
maturenessaccount Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
This is like Yoda, Sam Pepper's cat; almost too fluffy to handle ;) I loved it <3
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:iconoceansunrise32:
OceanSunrise32 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!! :D
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:iconxx3chibibunny:
Xx3chibibunny Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is awesome. X3
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